I stood in a tiny dressing room today, and took off my bra. “You’re going to want a nursing bra that leaves some room for growing” the kind woman yelled through the curtain. “You can assume that your breasts will be at their largest size about two weeks after baby is born”. I could assume…
Dear Teacher L and Teacher N, Tomorrow is Max’s first day of preschool summer camp. Of course, it’s not his first first day. It was thanks to you that Max survived thrived during his first first day, last summer, exactly one year ago. The baby boy who was only a few days into two years…
This post is going to be about formula, which unfortunately, means that I need to start with a disclaimer. I know that “breast is best”. I know that breastfeeding isn’t easy, and that there are dozens of resources available to help a struggling mom find her footing in the land of boobs and milk. I…
There is a deep chasm of fear and failure that separates the mother that I am, and the mother that I long to be. When I was pregnant with Max, I was SO good at parenting that some days I amazed even myself. I took classes on breastfeeding and childbirth at a swanky private boutique…
Dear Internet Gods of Karma or whatever, FUCK. YOU. No really. Fuck you. I know that just a few days ago I ran my mouth about how “It gets better”. Better is sooo beautiful, I bragged. The colors and the ocean air and the blah blah blah. I almost didn’t write it. I almost didn’t…
Max’s soft little breaths waft through the baby monitor tonight, a smooth staccato rhythm of peaceful sleep. He’s tucked in safe, cuddled up to his enormous Buzz LightYear doll pillow. My heart is full of love and pride….and relief. We’ve come a long way, this little family of mine. A year ago we were driving through a…