Don’t Love Me, Love Yourself

I have no idea how to breastfeed a baby properly. I've been doing it for 21 months, and I do it my way, and it works. I have no idea how to create healthy lunches that look like snowmen, or ninjas, or letters of the alphabet. I feed my kids what I can, and hope that they eat it.  They usually don't. I have no idea how to get your baby to sleep through the night. I have two children, and they sleep in a way that works for them, and works for our family.  And many nights they don't sleep, and I don't sleep, and it doesn't always work for our family. I have no idea how you should diaper your baby, when you should introduce solids, how you should discipline a toddler, or how

28 Days Of Play: Love Comes Crashing In

“Hiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAAAAA” he yells, as he careens around the corner, pops up onto the back of the couch, and catapults himself into my lap on the living room floor. A tangle of wiry, thin 5 year old limbs collide with mine as I try to catch him, my arms instinctively wrapping around his back to brace his fall. My voice leaves my body before I can think to stop it. “MAX!” I yell! “Be careful!” He looks up at me with wide eyes, that quickly dissolve into a furrowed brow. “I’m sorry, Mommy.” he mumbles. “I was just trying to….”. And I cut him off. “It’s ok. You’re not in trouble. You just need to warn me before you do that, so that you don’t hurt my body….or yours.” And then, from the other

How Are Those Resolutions Treating You?

15 Ways To Lose Weight in the New Year!  10 Ways That I Will Be A More Present Mother in 2015!  479 Tips To Shedding The Pounds and Shedding The Shame! Well Happy New Year, parents everywhere.  If the magazine covers and the Facebook posts don't have you feeling terrible about yourself, then perhaps you haven't been paying attention. January 1st is no longer a new beginning, it's a deadline.  Don't think that you can hide behind your cart full of cute PJ's and juice boxes in the Target checkout line.  The tabloid magazines know you're there.  You might be so sleep-deprived that you don't realize you've spilled your latte on last pregnancy's maternity pants, but you can still (barely)

Complications Of Motherhood

  Thrilled to be published on Mamalode this month, talking about whether or not we exist beyond our children. There are goldfish crackers ground into your carpet. There is a small streak of peanut butter on the side of your sofa that matches the height of a toddler who just earned the right to walk around while he eats his snack. Who am I kidding? He won't sit in the high chair anymore, and the only way you can convince him to eat is to let him walk around with a smashed sandwich in his hand. There are exactly 247 Legos scattered across your 5-year-old's bedroom, none of which are the exact ones he is looking for when he's yelling through the bathroom door that "the little blue

My Breasts Belong To Me

"34DD" she said, and smiled. I looked at her across the brightly lit dressing room.  "You're kidding me. Are you sure?"  From his lookout point in the stroller, my tiny wisp of a 1 month old started to cry.  "I'll be back with some options for you to try on" she laughed, and closed the door behind her. My breasts stared at me, all of their 34DD glory reflected back at me underneath the ugly fluorescent lights . I have always considered my breasts to be my greatest asset.  Suddenly, we were strangers. I'm a curvy girl.  Curvy in the "nice boobs and ass, so don't look too long at my stomach and thighs" kind of way.  I hated the rest of my body, but my boobs?  They were the only

I Support You: Be Part Of The Solution Nov 1st-7th, 2014

Sup·port transitive verb \sə-ˈpȯrt\ : to agree with or approve of (someone or something) : to show that you approve of (someone or something) by doing something : to give help or assistance to (someone or something) Full Definition of SUPPORT 1: to endure bravely or quietly :  bear 2 a (1) :  to promote the interests or cause of (2) :  to uphold or defend as valid or right :  advocate <supports fair play> (3) :  to argue or vote for  b (1) :  assist, help <bombers supported the ground troops>(2) :  to act with (a star actor) (3) :  to bid in bridge so as to show support for c :  to provide with substantiation :  corroborate <support an alibi> 3 a :  to pay the

Motherhood Is A Competitive Sport: 20 Steps To Kicking Everyone’s Ass

Is your baby keeping you up at night?  Are you worried about whether or not you're making enough breast milk, or if you've chosen the right formula?  Can't figure out the difference between Gerber and Ferber and AP and Pee-Pee and a nanny-share and an over-share?  Wondering if everyone else has this parenting gig all figured out, when the best you can muster up is five minutes in the bathroom alone? Of course you're drowning.  Motherhood is a competitive sport.  It's eat or be eaten in the great game of parenting, so you better saddle up sister.  Establish yourself as the leader of the pack now, while you still have your wits about you.  Be an Alpha.  Put that college degree to good use.