Complications Of Motherhood

Megaphone

  Thrilled to be published on Mamalode this month, talking about whether or not we exist beyond our children. There are goldfish crackers ground into your carpet. There is a small streak of peanut butter on the side of your sofa that matches the height of a toddler who just earned the right to walk around while he eats his snack. Who am I kidding? He won't sit in the high chair anymore, and the only way you can convince him to eat is to let him walk around with a smashed sandwich in his hand. There are exactly 247 Legos scattered across your 5-year-old's bedroom, none of which are the exact ones he is looking for when he's yelling through the bathroom door that "the little blue

10 Ways That C-Sections and Vaginal Births Are Exactly The Same

MommyMaxBenSnuggle

Disclaimer:  If I use the word "vagina" in the title of a post, consider that your warning about skipping this one if you yourself do not own a vagina.   For many women, birth either involves an actual human getting pushed out of your vagina, or an actual human getting pulled from your womb through an honest to goodness operation.  That you are most likely awake for. Yes, babies are "supposed" to be born through the appropriate exit door.  I am well aware of the statistics that show how care providers coerce women into c-sections, and urge complacency so that women do not advocate for themselves as they birth.  Not every woman who has a c-section "needs" one, regardless of what your

5 Ways To Improve Elementary School

KingOfDay1

Dear School District, I know that it's only been a week since my son started Kindergarten, but I was hoping to share a few ideas with you.  Unlike those helicopter parents who elbow their way into the principal's office on Day 3 to give "constructive feedback", I wanted to make sure that I really understood how things worked before reaching out to you.  It's Day 7, and as a seasoned public school veteran now, I'm hoping that my outline of district-wide improvements will be well-received. Here are a few important ways that you can improve the public elementary school experience for all of the families in our community: 1.  Mandatory public school for toddlers.  So here's the thing.

Dear New Kindergarten Mom

MaxMommyFence

Dear New Kindergarten Mom, This morning, I bundled my boys into the stroller and went out for one last impromptu morning walk. Max will be starting kindergarten next week, and the days spent hanging out in our jammies and meandering to the nearest park or Starbucks are almost over. My best friend texted me a picture of her own 5-year-old a few minutes later, standing in front of his new elementary school. "How did we get here?!" I texted back. It was yesterday that we were pregnant together. Visiting the fire station with toddlers together. Welcoming second babies together. "How did we get here?!" Well, Mama, I want you to take a break from packing lunches and tucking pencils into

Damn You, Stitch Fix!

StitchFix Jeans

I am a sucker for clothes.  Lots of clothes.  I'm sort of a collector/hoarder/treasure-hunter when it comes to putting outfits together.  I find excuses to cruise around the mall when Ben is napping peacefully in the stroller (it counts as exercise!).  I obsess about buying multiples of things that I love (Old Navy tank tops to go under everything, every single pair of American Eagle super soft skinny jeans that I can possibly find).  But as much as I binge on clothing, I end up wearing the same.damn.thing every single day.  Tank top and maxi skirt.  Tank top and jeans, maybe a flowy cardigan.  Favorite earrings.  Wet ponytail.  Bam.  Mascara on a good day. The 25 year old me would kick

Five!

BikesMax

My little "big" guy turned 5 a few weeks ago, so I figured it's never too late to share his birthday letter with you! Dear Max, Five years ago today, you were letting us know that you were ready to come into the world.  You were scrunched up tight in my belly, folded over like you had just jumped off of the Olympic high dive.  You were bottom-down, head up, and very stuck.  We couldn't quite figure out how you managed to get yourself in that position at the very end of your 39 weeks inside, but knowing you now, it all makes sense.  You are full of energy, curiosity, and endless movement.  Of course you got stuck. But you didn't want to wait for the c-section we had scheduled.....you

The Last First Year

FamPicBounceHouse

There is a moment in motherhood when you realize that you have been holding your breath. As if forgetting to breathe will somehow slow the passage of time, in all the right places. It is the deep inhale as your baby settles in to sleep, buffered and bolstered by the crook of your arm, the sticky sweat at the back of his neck wetting your forearm as you move to stand up.  In the seconds before you transfer him to his crib, you notice for the hundredth time how his cheeks flush when he's sleeping.  The way that his pouty rosebud lips purse and relax in a sucking rhythm, even when he's done nursing.  The way that his little hands clench as he dreams.  You offer up silent prayers for a