I’m going to New York City in a few weeks.  It’s no biggie, really.  Just a blogging conference with approximately 3 billion zillion 4,500 other writers.  We’re going to talk about….well, stuff.  Writerly, blogging stuff.  So it’s totally under control, this trip.  I’m not nervous in the slightest.  Because it’s a very common occurence that I’m in a room with a billion zillion other women (and maybe even some dudes)who love live eat breathe pee sweat and bleed writing.


It defines me.  I think in blog posts.  I laugh in italics.  I take furious notes in my calendar when Max says something silly or hits a milestone early.  I take notes so that I can write.  So I can live it again, here.  With all of you.  I get high when I hit “publish”.  I feel your hand in mine after I pour the words out for all to see, and you throw a sweater over my shoulders when I do the walk of shame the next morning.   Through it all, you have embraced me.  You are my people.

Hello, New York.

I’m Kim.  It’s nice to meet you.  Do you mind if I sit here?  I’m sorry what?  Oh, umm…I’m a mommy blogger.  I mean, no.  Um…I’m a parenting, umm, yeah…I’m a writer.  That’s it, I’m a WRITER.  And you?  You’re a writer too?  No shit?! Do you have kids?  ME TOO!  A three year old boy??  ME TOO!  What was that?  OH SHIT!  I am SO sorry, I didn’t mean to put my laptop right there, I totally didn’t see your coffee I am SO sorry!  Wait, wait, wait, let me clean it up for you, and I’ll totally go grab you a new one.  What do you drink?  Half coffee half creamer two sugars?!  ME TOO!!!  OH MY GOD WE ARE SO BEST FRIENDS WHO WERE MEANT TO BE!!!  Are you going to SparkleCorn??  Of course you can borrow my glitter headband!!  What are besties for??

Why yes, I do have imaginary conversations in my head with myself.  Just.getting.prepared.

So maybe I’m a little overwhelmed.  And more than mildly excited.  I spent three hours of Max-free time yesterday browsing the mall in search of outfits that were not too pretentious but super trendy and mildly left-of-center but still represented my “brand”.

Because you know, if you’re going to BlogHer you need to know your “brand”.

Whatever the fuck that means.

I think I’m nautical.  Get it?  Mama By The Bay.  Nautical is sooo in right now.  I’m thinking blue chevron striped Maxi dress with a red rope bracelet.  Comfortable shoes, because MoMo has sufficiently scared me out of wearing my 6 inch orange Prada platforms.  Whatever.  They’re way cooler than they sound, but I guess she knows best.  But while I’m at it, I do need a tiny tee with anchors on it, and maybe some navy blue pants, and I won’t lie I spent all of Max’s naptime yesterday browsing Etsy for a personalized cell phone cover/laptop case/business card holder and I think I should get a manicure with a cute little anchor on one finger and before I forget I do need to book my next highlight appointment and do you think it would be overkill to get a single pink highlight in my hair because that might make people really think that I’m edgy.  Which I guess isn’t exactly nautical.  What’s that?  Oh, right…my blog redesign (the one with the Mama By The Bay title that matches my Twitter Handle and my web address and my business cards?  The one with the nautical theme?) hasn’t happened yet.  That’s one of those “Holy shit get this done before BlogHer oh my god crap we’re running out of time!” things.  Quick!  Go buy a red striped t-shirt and an anchor necklace and make all of this go away!!!

Good thing I’m going to BlogHer for the writing.  yeahhhh.

You know what I hope?  I hope that my first day at BlogHer is like my first day in Up With People.  No, no, don’t click away…stay with me for a second!!  I was 21 when I joined Up With People.  I packed an enormous bag, and walked off a plane in Denver and into a crowd of a few hundred other people from over 20 different countries.  We sat quietly, horribly homesick, on some folding chairs, and suddenly the show began.  And as the stage started flooding with performers and directors,  a few hundred strangers friends started singing along.  And dancing.  And glowing with the warm relief of belongingThese are my people.  I belong here.  They understand me.  They live and eat and breathe the music.  They feel this music.  This is my home.

I hope, I know, that when I walk into BlogHer I will feel the same way.  I wasn’t the best dancer that summer.  And lord knows I was definitely not the best singer.  But there was a place for me in the chorus, and you can sing as loud as you want there.  I’m not gonna lie, when people ask me about my summer plans I proudly announce “I’m going to a blogging conference.  You know, for writers.”  And they gasp, and for a brief second (ok maybe more) I let them think that I am a BIG. DEAL.  Because they don’t know that it’s really open to anybody and my pageviews on an excellent day are in the low three digits.  Whatever.  There’s a place for me in the chorus.  So I’m no Arnebya, but you can bet your ass that I’ll be cheering the loudest for her when she reads at Voices Of The Year.  I belong in this chorus.  These are my people.  I have no doubt that being a billion zillion miles from the Left Coast will feel like no distance at all, because I will listen to the words of writers, and know that I am home.

BlogHer ’12, you and me baby, we’re on a date with destiny.


14 Replies to “BlogHer ’12: Sooo Under Control”

  1. I feel the exact same way.

    I was at my first BlogHer last year, and I remember within seconds, thinking, I DON’T WANT TO EVER GO HOME!!!!!!!!

    My people my people..

    Hope to see you there

    (and your adding questions before commenting are too hard. xo)

    1. Alexandra, thanks for reporting back to tell me how fabulous it truly was…I needed that! Hearing from writers like you make my anxiety fade! And the damn math problems….going away with the redesign! I’m over having to do the math on my fingers and still getting it wrong!

  2. I enjoyed reading your post. I am going to be there and it is my first conference. I am a New Yorker, so that aspect of the conference don’t have me nervous. I can feel your excitment..Your shoes fabulous! I will be the one wearing my mickey/minnie birkenstocks…ha ha.

    1. I look forward to seeing you there!! And Disney Birks?! Love it! Now I’ll know how to find you!

  3. All of this is what is swirling around in my head but unable or maybe unwilling to make it to the keyboard.

    I really can’t wait but I’m also really nervous/anxious. I know I’m going to have an amazing time I just need to get over that hurdle and throw myself into the deep end.

    See you there!

    1. I’ll be treading water in the deep end with you, embarrassed to show everyone my bathing suit and trying hard to look cool while I attempt to not drown 😉 I know you’re a much better swimmer than me though, so hold me up ok?!

  4. OMG (is it still ok to say that?) I’m freaking out too!! I have no idea what to wear. Like I don’t even know what realm. Casual, business casual, cute and impractical, cute and comfy. I need some guidance people! And then I need to do some shopping.

    I, too, cannot wait to embrace the feeling of belonging. Cannot wait.

    1. I’m SO looking forward to meeting you! And yes, what TYPE of clothes should we wear?! And then when we have that figured out, what in hell do we wear to the parties??

  5. Shid. I’m wearing my heels. It’s New York City! I only own one pair of flats. One. And I am so not bringing them. I’m getting excited! (Also, I doubt I’ll talk to anyone. Spill their coffee, yes, but actually have a conversation? (cringes)).

    1. I know, I know…I’m going to feel kinda naked in NYC without heels!!! I think I’m gonna just suck it up and wear the stilettos. I’ll feel fabulous inside, even though my feet will hurt like hell. And if we don’t talk to anyone, then we don’t have to move around much, right?

  6. I so need a blogging buddy, or fifty. I would love to try and go but the idea of being so new and not knowing anyone terrifies me. This is ridiculous. I used to travel constantly for work, alone and to new places and yet I am so afraid it would be a wasted trip until I know more people and know what I should attend and be prepared for. So far I have just written down some stories. I am looking forward to hearing about how it went.

    1. I’m so glad you stopped by to say hello! Totally agree with you about not knowing anyone and being terrified! I’m trying to embrace it, but yes, it’s a bizarre feeling to be so confident in family/career and then completely freaked out by blogging! You’re not alone! It’s a whole new world for me too! So can I be your blogging buddy??

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