My sweet Max,
Three years ago today, I was holding you in my arms for the very first time. From the moment I saw your face, I knew that you were the little boy I had been waiting all of my life for. Your eyes, your full little lips, your itty bitty arms and legs that Baubee ran out to buy preemie clothes for. You were so tiny that you still had to grow into your wrinkly skin! But even then, in your very first days, you were all personality.
Your Daddy and I have been married almost five years. I knew many years before that, when I watched him shower love and goodness on your cousins Alec, Shelby, and Aaron, that he would be an incredible dad. I knew the day that I married him that our “I Do’s” were “I will’s”. I will parent with you. I will be on your team. I will support you in this journey. But I never knew that parenthood could unlock something quite so beautiful in a person…..
I love how you and Daddy have created your own little world to play in. I love watching you build race tracks for your cars. I love hearing you laugh together, and I love how he is teaching you about being a man. I love knowing that for your Daddy, the sun rises and sets on you. He comes home early from work to play with you in the back yard. He’s proud of your big boy sentences, and your first bites of a hamburger. He brags about you, and he lives for you. You have grown together. You, my sweet, are the little boy that Daddy dreamed of having.
And oh, how I dreamed of you too. You are everything that I have ever wanted, and more. From the moment I first snuggled you close, you have fit perfectly in my arms. You fit perfectly in our lives. I still rest my hand on your head as you sleep, even though now you are stretched out in your big boy bed. I still want to protect you from the world, and walk just a half step behind you to catch you if you fall. You might be three years old now, but this is how I will always feel about you….
Max, you have always been such a kind, loving, incredibly happy little boy. You radiate enormous amounts of warmth and sunshine. You are almost always smiling. You ask others “Are you OK?” and put your hand out to help them along. You have a mischievious grin that makes us laugh when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to. And your exuberance and huge spirit wash over people wherever you go. You are outgoing, where Mommy is shy. You are soft and sweet when Mommy loses my patience. You are forgiving, and resilient, and you teach us every day how to guide you with creative energy and out-of-the-box ideas. I love how you teach us to slow down, to look at every ant (“Mommy, it a wittle bug! Crawl on my finger wittle guy!”), to pay attention to the things we’re driving past, and to stay amazed by every airplane, lawnmower, “meow-meow”, rock, and tree branch.
Your enthusiasm is contagious. You smile your huge smile and say “I so EXCITING (excited) Mommy! I can’t WAIT!” when you’re anticipating a “suh-pwize” or something special. You ask curious questions about cement mixers and gasoline tankers and “Where is the birdy’s Mommy? He miss his Mommy”. You are gentle with friends and thoughtful with tasks. You are always on a mission, always taking something apart or building something intricate. When you wake up in the morning you move down to the floor and say hello to Curious George and Buzz Lightyear. And then you start to read them books. We hear your little voice on the monitor as you make up stories for your friends. You are perfectly content in your own space. At three years old you (mostly) sleep through the night, and considering how far you’ve come, it makes me cry happy tears to watch you wake up so peacefully every morning. Some nights you call for us, and when we come to you, your sleepy voice whispers “Lay in my bed Mommy. Come closer. Lay right here with me.” You take my arm and wrap it around your waist as we snuggle like spoons, and I listen to your breathing grow soft and strong as you fall asleep again. No cars. No tears. No fear. I am so, so proud of you.
We celebrated your birthday a little early this year, and took a few friends to the fire station to get up close and personal with the “fire twucks”. We pretended that it was a real “emergency”!!! You were so confident walking around in your fire jacket and fire hat. I love how you jump right in to something new…you made friends with all of the firemen and walked around with your buddies like you owned the place!
I’m proud of the little guy that you are Max. Fiercely proud. Of your strength and courage, your amazing wisdom, your energy, and your deep affection for others. I love sharing “nose kisses” with you, and “cheek kisses”, and those wonderful spontaneous “I wove you Mommy” moments that melt my heart. You have a flair for the dramatic (when your firetruck crashes you say “sorry fire truck, but I tried EVERYthing!”). You stroke my hair and tell me “You look cute!” and respond to questions with a hearty “You bet!” You have a vivid imagination, and you create play cities and train towns for your dinosaurs and firetrucks. You are all boy. You are energy, and love, and laughter, and “Dance with me Mommy!” and “Daddy you’re BACK! I missed you!”
Max, you are my best. My best buddy, my best boy. You are all of the best parts of Daddy and I. You are the best part of a “family hug”, and the best part about waking up every morning. Watching you grow and learn and become this little boy that I was always meant to mother, has brought me the best three years of my life.
You are my best, and now you are three. I am so excited to see what you have planned for this world, my sweet. I know for sure that life holds big things for you, and we are so enormously lucky to be traveling this road holding your hand.
I love you, I love you, I love you, and I am forever grateful that we belong to each other. This little family that we’ve created, is exactly where I was meant to be. Thank you for making me a mommy. Thank you for bringing us to life.