1. Sometimes I work out at the gym JUST so I can watch The View on TV, and have ten minutes to shower in peace. I could really give a crap about the treadmill.

2. Max is boycotting any food that does not look exactly like a scrambled egg, hummus, beans/cheese/rice, or Halloween candy. This is entirely my fault. Because I keep giving him those things.

3. As maddening as Max’s bedtime routine is, I secretly love it. Well, at least the parts where he snuggles up close. And the parts where he talks on and on in the dark. “Ma, I loove you” ” I need my shirt! I need my socks! I need shoes for my BEET!” “wheels on the bus go round and round!!” and well, you get the picture.

4. Daylight Savings Time can have its hour back. No thanks, our family can’t actually use that extra hour. Well, Max can’t.

5. This child MELTS me. Even at 6 am.


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