Mommy: Umbrellas are for raindrops honey. It’s not safe to have it open in the car.
Max: (crying) I NEED raindrops!!!!!!
2) Mommy: Max, in two minutes we’re going to turn your movie off, ok?
Max: (Covers his ears with his hands and YELLS) Yi Yi YI YI!!!
3) Max: (walking up to the pumpkin decorations on our front lawn and gently patting them on the head) Hi puh-in! I MISSed you!!
4) Apparently one of our neighbors (some dumbass) lost his SIX FOOT LONG Iguana. Somewhere between his house and our house. LOST it. As in, posted a missing sign saying that this damn thing is “not dangerous” but may be living in a TREE somewhere, and might get agitated if you approach it. Did I mention he LOST it?? And I’m only guessing that the neighbor is a “he”. Because who other than a 22 year old stoner highschool dropout guy with no girlfriend would own a fucking IGUANA? Or as Kerry so kindly pointed out “If it’s that big, it’s probably an alligator”. Great neighborhood we moved in to.