Just Max

There’s a reason why Max is not a Maximillion. Or a Maxwell. Or a Maximus. Max is named after Sean’s grandfather, who was also (just) Max. We think that (just) Max is a very strong, bold name for a boy.

This, however, drives some people crazy.

“Awwwww….Max! How cute! Short for…?”

It’s not short for anything. He’s just Max.

“Maximillion?”

Nope. Just Max.

“Max? What’s his real name?”

It’s just Max people.

As I was registering Max for an appointment with a new doctor:

“Your child’s first name?”

“It’s Max.”


Long Pause.

“Is that his legal name?”

No. His legal name is Beta Max. Write that down.

Why is it that even though I am officially a Kimberley, no one ever cared that I was JUST Kim?

It’s a damn good thing that Max’s best friend is Jack.

No, not Jackson. He’s just Jack.

Then when we go out together, Susie and I answer in chorus…

“Nope, it’s just Jack. And just Max.”

And then we get…

“How cute! Are they twins??”

Yes. With two different moms. And we’re too dumb to buy a twin stroller, so we have two separate ones. To make our lives difficult.

So we respond “Nope, just friends! They’re 5 days apart”.

And then we get….

“Wow! But they look so much alike! They really do!”

That’s because they’re both BABIES, brainiacs. And yes, maybe they do look a little alike, but really, don’t you think we’d tell you if they were twins?! And really, what are you insinuating by arguing with us that they look SO much alike?? Because our husbands have gotten a little tired of hearing THAT one from strangers.

So we may start replying however the hell we want. Especially since the boys are too little to understand that their moms think it’s funny to fuck with people when they ask nosy stupid questions.

So next time we are going to tell someone that they’re not twins, they just have the same sperm donor.

Or that the other mom is the nanny.

Or that we are lesbians, and we swapped eggs and carried the other one’s baby. Like Cat Cora and her partner.

And then to make things even more complicated, we named them Just Max. And Just Jack.

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Comments:

  1. Snapped In Sin says:

    Max is in my club. I have had the "Tori, short for…Victoria?" conversation my entire life.

    Maybe you never got asked about Kim, because there aren't a ton of things you can add on to Kim – maybe Kimber…Max has choices.

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