As of today I am officially cleared by the Doc to be a normal human being again post C-section. Dr. N was about as friendly at this appointment as he was during my entire pregnancy.

I was hoping for a summary of our relationship thus far. Maybe a quick recap of what happened during my quasi-emergency C-section. A check-in about how it felt to be sprawled out on an operating table at 3 am and cut open. Maybe a nice “How are you feeling?” instead of walking in the room and muttering “Feeling good? Ok, good!” before I could squeak out a response. But alas, it was a one night stand. And he was not going to give me any explanation or assessment, nothing to soothe my feelings, not even an apology for cutting me crooked. Seriously Doc? Not even a Post-Partum Depression assessment? I’m going to write a letter to the National Association of Social Workers because you are a SLACKER.

My favorite part of the appointment? Well it’s a tie:
1. He’s putting me on a new low dose pill. So after 6 weeks of hardcore recovery and feeling generally fucked up from being cut open and having a 6 lb 2 oz baby pulled out, and then trial-by-fire parenting that child and loving every minute of it but knowing that it was by the grace of god that Sean and I were surviving this that I was understandably a little freaked about taking a pill with LESS shit in it. So I was compelled to ask him “Won’t it be easier to get pregnant on that pill then???!!” Could he not sense the FEAR in my voice? Instead, he looks me straight in the eye and deadpans “Yes. You’re going to get pregnant on this pill.” And then he gives me the look that says “DUMBASS”.

2. On the way OUT the door, he looks briefly in the stroller and gives Max a quick “What’s up” wave.

Peace out Dr. N. I’ll be calling to request that my records are sent to my new doctor soon. And SHE will shake her head and cluck her tongue at you when she sees my unique little scar. And then she’ll ask me how I feel about it.

Oh wait….the good part? The whole reason behind this post? I’m supposed to be good as new from now on!!!! Except I can’t do sit-ups for a while. Damn it. I was rockin’ on the ab roller for years! What will I do if I can’t knock out 100 sit-ups every night and every morning?????

I’d write more, but I’m headed to the GYM…..


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