Because I’m 9 Months Pregnant….

….and a little fragile right now, people. So this is my answer to most things….

“Because I’m 9 months pregnant, that’s why.”

When I got home from Safeway and Sean asked how I managed to get the Starbucks guy to give me a free Venti ice water when I didn’t order anything else…

“Because I’m 9 months pregnant, that’s why.”

When I went to the sales office of the new house to pick up our mail, and was inundated with questions from strangers about “Ooh, you’re due soon aren’t you?!” and I did NOT put on the happy smiley face because I was bitter about even being NEAR the new house when we could not move in yet……I felt justified in my anger “Because I’m 9 months pregnant, that’s why.”

And when the stupid new sales lady literally SQUEALED “Ooooh, those are KEYS you’re holding! Which house is YOURS? How exciting!!”, I looked her dead in the eye and said “They’re MAIL BOX KEYS. We don’t HAVE house keys yet.” And I wanted to kick her. The dumb bitch. Because I’m 9 months pregnant and we’re living in a hotel and I hate our banker who doesn’t seem to care and went on VACATION without telling us, when my husband is sick and our dog is sick and oh…by the way….on Friday I’m going to be 37 weeks and that’s considered full term so this baby could really come at any time…..THAT’S WHY.

Like this morning, when I went to get my free breakfast at the hotel and decided that I didn’t care if the lack of trays meant that you weren’t supposed to take anything back to the room. I had no shame about piling up my blintzes and bagel and fruit (and cereal for later, and a muffin for good measure, and a glass of milk balanced underneath my plate) and walking straight out the door….with all of their silverware in my other hand. I’m 9 months pregnant people, I don’t give a SHIT.

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