34 Weeks!

Today I cheated on my doctor. It was like cheating on my hairstylist, but worse.

Even though my regular OB is very smart, and very qualified, and perfectly nice…..his bedside manner is not exactly spectacular. Those of you who are regular blog readers will recall that he has rolled his eyes at me, and at times acts like he’s simply tolerating my questions. While many women hope and pray that their doctor happens to be the one on call when the big moment comes, I secretly wish that Dr. N would be on a nice long vacation in Hawaii when I deliver.

He was on a nice long vacation somewhere today, because I saw Dr. P instead. And I LOVED him. Loved him like I love root beer floats. Loved him like I love my favorite comfy socks. First off, he’s in the same practice as Dr. N and you walk in the same door, but he has his very own SECRET SPECIAL WAITING ROOM. It’s like the hidden kitchen at Thanh Long that has the secret special roasted crab and garlic noodles recipes. Only problem was I didn’t know this ahead of time, so I left a urine sample in the wrong office bathroom. Whatever though. Then….in comes Dr. P. He measured my belly so accurately that it almost hurt when he pushed in to find my uterus (I’m measuring 33 by the way). Then he listened to Max’s heartbeat for a nice long while (not the 5 seconds that we usually get) and explained the range of beats per minute to us. He felt my legs and ankles to check for swelling, without me even having to ask if I should be worried about it. Then he felt Max’s BODY through my belly, and announced that Max was “head down, with his back against your left side and his butt up top” Sean and I were shocked that he could feel all that, and Dr. P explained that “heads are hard and butts are soft”. To which Sean replied “My butt is hard”. Dr. P also explained that the “kicking” I was feeling really low was actually “punching”, and that Max probably (hopefully!) wouldn’t change positions too much before delivery because there’s not much room left to move around in. This is good news! Max is already playing by the rules and getting his little self into the very important “head down” position! I was so impressed by how seriously Dr. P took all of this measuring/monitoring/feeling around stuff. He even walked us through how Max was curled up in my belly, making sure we understood.

As if that wasn’t helpful enough, Dr. P then shared all sorts of valuable info with us! Birth plans, hospital tours, jacuzzi tubs in Labor & Delivery, avoiding episiotomies if at all possible, why IV’s would be needed, why I can’t eat solid foods once I’m in labor, how to communicate my wishes to nurses, what would happen at our next appointment, and on and on. “I’m sure Dr. N has discussed this with you too” he said. Ummm….yeah. Not so much doc. Any ideas on how I can gracefully let Dr. N know that I am breaking up with him so that I can be YOURS? Dr. P took so much time with us, that I started asking him random questions that I didn’t even know I had! He made us feel like he had all the time in the world, and when he left, he PATTED MY KNEE. Oh my god people….it’s……a nice bedside manner!!!!!!! Who knew????? With my luck though, I’d switch to Dr. P, and HE’D be in Hawaii when Max came….and Dr. N would end up delivering me…..pissed off and with his feelings hurt that I ditched him for Dr. P and his swanky private waiting room. Damn. That would be bad.

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