We were out to dinner the other night, when Sean shared this:

“So I was talking to my sister today, and she had this great idea. She suggested that we bring home one of the blankets that Max is wrapped in while he’s in the hospital, so that Rylee can get used to his scent”.

“That’s a great idea” I said. “I’ve heard about how that can really help dogs get accustomed to having a baby around”.

“Yeah, so when you and Max are still at the hospital and I go home to feed Rylee and sleep at night, I can bring the blanket with me”.

I just stared at him.

“When you WHAT?”

“When I go….home…….?”

Chime in here any time people! OF COURSE this resulted in a LONG discussion that I only remained half-way calm for because my kind sweet considerate husband had apparently suffered from a momentary lapse in judgment because he had not had the opportunity to attend a labor and delivery class yet where he would have learned that HE HAS TO STAY WITH ME AND THE BABY IN THE HOSPITAL GOD DAMMNIT! Which resulted in the “I could be in labor for 4 days straight Sean and then have a C-section and then have to stay there for three more days and god forbid Max needs to have some tests or be taken care of in the hospital for a bit and my water could break at 3 in the morning for all we know…this is not a 9-5 experience! And even if I have a NORMAL delivery you are staying with me the ENTIRE time because you are my team and you HAVE to!”

“But where will I sleep?”

“They have BEDS there for these things. Cots for dads. And you won’t be comfortable, but I won’t be comfortable either, so you will SUFFER along with me.”

“What about Rylee?”

“What ABOUT Rylee? We will have a plan for her. We will make a plan so that someone will take care of her, because it is a VERY real possibility that I could go into labor in the middle of the NIGHT and if you are running home to check on her while I’m delivering this baby I WILL DIVORCE YOU.”

Boys mean well. They really do. There are just some very important things that they don’t know. Why? Because they haven’t needed to know. Until now. They haven’t watched 30,000 episodes of A Baby Story. They don’t have Deliver Me set up on Tivo. They have not read all of Ina May Gaskin’s childbirth books. And they sure as hell haven’t been stressing for 9 months about what kind of outfit to bring for each stage of labor at the hospital. Ladies, I know I am not the only one who has thought about having one of those cute hospital gown-style nighties for the early part, then one that can get all sorts of nastiness on it for the delivery, then a pretty clean one for nursing and our “baby” pictures. OK….maybe I am the only one. But still, deciding what kind of chapstick to bring in my overnight bag and what kind of fuzzy (but non-sliding) socks to have does weigh on my mind every once in a while.

SO for all of you recently-annointed mamas out there….what were the main points of YOUR “Oh my god I’m going into labor” plan??


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