How Are Those Resolutions Treating You?

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15 Ways To Lose Weight in the New Year!  10 Ways That I Will Be A More Present Mother in 2015!  479 Tips To Shedding The Pounds and Shedding The Shame! Well Happy New Year, parents everywhere.  If the magazine covers and the Facebook posts don't have you feeling terrible about yourself, then perhaps you haven't been paying attention. January 1st is no longer a new beginning, it's a deadline.  Don't think that you can hide behind your cart full of cute PJ's and juice boxes in the Target checkout line.  The tabloid magazines know you're there.  You might be so sleep-deprived that you don't realize you've spilled your latte on last pregnancy's maternity pants, but you can still (barely)

Complications Of Motherhood

Megaphone

  Thrilled to be published on Mamalode this month, talking about whether or not we exist beyond our children. There are goldfish crackers ground into your carpet. There is a small streak of peanut butter on the side of your sofa that matches the height of a toddler who just earned the right to walk around while he eats his snack. Who am I kidding? He won't sit in the high chair anymore, and the only way you can convince him to eat is to let him walk around with a smashed sandwich in his hand. There are exactly 247 Legos scattered across your 5-year-old's bedroom, none of which are the exact ones he is looking for when he's yelling through the bathroom door that "the little blue

My Breasts Belong To Me

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"34DD" she said, and smiled. I looked at her across the brightly lit dressing room.  "You're kidding me. Are you sure?"  From his lookout point in the stroller, my tiny wisp of a 1 month old started to cry.  "I'll be back with some options for you to try on" she laughed, and closed the door behind her. My breasts stared at me, all of their 34DD glory reflected back at me underneath the ugly fluorescent lights . I have always considered my breasts to be my greatest asset.  Suddenly, we were strangers. I'm a curvy girl.  Curvy in the "nice boobs and ass, so don't look too long at my stomach and thighs" kind of way.  I hated the rest of my body, but my boobs?  They were the only

I Support You: Be Part Of The Solution Nov 1st-7th, 2014

Support

Sup·port transitive verb \sə-ˈpȯrt\ : to agree with or approve of (someone or something) : to show that you approve of (someone or something) by doing something : to give help or assistance to (someone or something) Full Definition of SUPPORT 1: to endure bravely or quietly :  bear 2 a (1) :  to promote the interests or cause of (2) :  to uphold or defend as valid or right :  advocate <supports fair play> (3) :  to argue or vote for  b (1) :  assist, help <bombers supported the ground troops>(2) :  to act with (a star actor) (3) :  to bid in bridge so as to show support for c :  to provide with substantiation :  corroborate <support an alibi> 3 a :  to pay the

Motherhood Is A Competitive Sport: 20 Steps To Kicking Everyone’s Ass

BrosPlayNice

Is your baby keeping you up at night?  Are you worried about whether or not you're making enough breast milk, or if you've chosen the right formula?  Can't figure out the difference between Gerber and Ferber and AP and Pee-Pee and a nanny-share and an over-share?  Wondering if everyone else has this parenting gig all figured out, when the best you can muster up is five minutes in the bathroom alone? Of course you're drowning.  Motherhood is a competitive sport.  It's eat or be eaten in the great game of parenting, so you better saddle up sister.  Establish yourself as the leader of the pack now, while you still have your wits about you.  Be an Alpha.  Put that college degree to good use.

The (Secret) Truth About #ISupportYou

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  Want to know a secret? Shhh. Come close. We don't give a shit how you feed your baby. We don't care.  We don't care because there are women taking their babies for chemotherapy and women struggling to scrape up enough cash to buy dinner and women who feel so shitty about themselves that they think it would be better for their children if they just disappeared.  Mothers are falling so deep down the rabbit hole of depression and anxiety, because they are sure that they are failing.  Because that's what some of you are telling them.  And you know what?  We’re starting to think it's a cop out to say it’s because you really want their babies to have what you think is best.  We’re

10 Ways That C-Sections and Vaginal Births Are Exactly The Same

MommyMaxBenSnuggle

Disclaimer:  If I use the word "vagina" in the title of a post, consider that your warning about skipping this one if you yourself do not own a vagina.   For many women, birth either involves an actual human getting pushed out of your vagina, or an actual human getting pulled from your womb through an honest to goodness operation.  That you are most likely awake for. Yes, babies are "supposed" to be born through the appropriate exit door.  I am well aware of the statistics that show how care providers coerce women into c-sections, and urge complacency so that women do not advocate for themselves as they birth.  Not every woman who has a c-section "needs" one, regardless of what your